April, 2024
By Oriol Macedo, Staff Reporter
“Ask Oriol” is the Cardinal Post‘s monthly advice column. The Questions for Oriol to answer were suggested by an AI chat.
NOTE: Ask Oriol is intended as satire. The Cardinal Post is not responsible for the consequences of taking this advice.
1. What is your favorite way to spend time with friends outside of school?
My favorite way to spend time with my friends is by making paper and getting that bread. We can hang out and relax when we all have bugattis and lifted trucks.
2. Do you prefer attending school events like dances and pep rallies, or do you prefer more low-key hangouts?
I prefer low key hangouts because I personally don’t like people, but yeah, I prefer getting money.
3. What is your go-to activity for relieving stress during the school year?
My go to activity to release stress is counting money and sleeping.
4. How do you handle balancing academics and social life?
I don’t. Most likely, I’m failing every class, even this one I’m writing for, but at least I got 30 bands.
5. What advice would you give to someone starting high school to make friends and feel more connected?
I don’t have that much advice for that, only that I’d rather have 30 bands than 30 friends. Don’t hate the player; hate the game.
6. Have you ever been part of a club or extracurricular activity?
I have actually been a part of soccer for 2 years. It’s a great sport, and you can learn a lot of core values that you can apply and carry with you in the real world, but I would rather chase a check than a ball.
7. What is one memorable social event or gathering you’ve attended during high school?
Pep rallies and first Fridays. They gather all grades, and we just celebrate our achievements. It’s a cool and wholesome moment.
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