November 2024

By Natalia Yanez, Staff Reporter

Introduction

 In psychology there is a theory called the Attachment theory and what it means is to focus on how the relationship between an infant and their caregiver can have an impact on other relationships a person might have in the future. This is Important because it can help people to distinctively know what makes a secure or insecure attachment.

What Is an Insecure and Secure Attachment?

  Insecure attachments are made when the caregiver wasn’t attentive or consistent enough to their child’s needs which will lead to three attachment styles like anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. For secure attachment it would be the opposite: the caregiver would be very attentive to the child.  But even if a person already has a secure attachment it can most likely change to insecure. That is because in the Cleveland Clinic article “Attachment Styles” it states, “Even if you had a secure attachment in childhood, betrayal and other difficult experiences can cause you to develop an insecure attachment later in life.” Their nuance with people only just develops their attachment only with their caregiver.

Can Toxic Behaviors Be Influenced by Attachment?

It is rather obvious that with an insecure attachment they most likely make a person have unhealthy behaviors for them and others. For example, disorganized attachment style, as psychologists say, is the hardest to treat because people would have a paradox of avoiding behavior but also have clingy and attention seeking behavior. In Simply Psychology the article called “Disorganized Attachment Style: Traits and Ways to Cope” states, “When they experience a trigger, their anxious and avoidant behavior is activated. This can be very confusing and upsetting to the other person in the relationship. However, because the threat of abandonment and rejection feels warranted to the disorganized individual, they may feel entitled to their extreme reactions.” This shows how insecure attachment can cause people to have behaviors that wouldn’t be healthy for their relationship because they can either push their partner away or become abusive over time.

How can people change their insecure attachment?

It’s very possible to change someone’s attachment and the steps to take that are asking for professional help like therapy, learn from others that mostly have a secure attachment, be self-aware in your behavior, and also remember that healing an insecure attachment takes time. And one more thing people should know and that’s learning about different attachment styles can make you feel empathetic to yourself and to others because you know if someone is struggling with the same problems it can make you feel less alone and be patient with them. But that doesn’t mean you can still let go of people if they are becoming toxic toward you.